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Loving Communications
FLOWING WITH YOUR LOVE MATE
Being in a relationship is indeed one of our greatest challenges as well as one of our greatest joys. Therefore, if we "give up" on relationships, we shut ourselves off from a great joy and an important Earth lesson. Being in an intimate relationship is how we learn to trust our self enough to trust another. To flow with our love mate, we must first learn to find the Flow and launch our personal life raft into its center current. Then, we can gradually allow our love mate to step onto our personal life raft. Sometimes our mate will float along side us, sometimes he or she will visit it and in times of deep intimacy, our life rafts will merge into ONE. In this manner we can share our life, as we follow the Flow of both our personal and shared realities.
When we journey to places of healing, light, and/or other realities, we are within our SELF, and the limitations and fears of our mundane world are shut out of our awareness. We can travel the Flow fully aware of our physical life while free of the limitations and fears of our mundane reality. While on our life raft, we can move through the rapids with ease, even though the world around us seems to be in great turmoil.
When we invite someone else to join us on our life raft, it is vital that we take responsibility for our choices. Make no mistake, whether or not we are conscious of our decision, we have, indeed, invited them. If we don't, we will fall back into being a victim, which will pull us out of the Flow and into the chaos. On the other hand, when we take full responsibility for the relationship that we are sharing, we realize that we have chosen to bond our life with others. However, each kind of relationship requires a different state of consciousness to share the Flow of our life raft.
Let us begin with the relations of a fully committed marriage, whether or not it has any legal bonds. Marriage serves as if a mirror, which is constantly in front of us so that we can better see our self in every phase of our day and of our life. Because of this mirror, marriage is a wonderful way to learn about physical life, as well as an opportunity for deep intimacy and unconditional love.
On the other hand, since marriage goes beyond the bounds of our present reality, it often brings up unresolved issues from our youth. This return to our wounded ego can force us on a journey through the Lower Astral Plane to re-experience the hurts and misery of our entire life. We can perceive this journey as a bad experience—OR—we can choose to perceive this journey as a wonderful opportunity for healing. Either way, for marriage to be intimate and happy, we must remember that this is OUR life raft on which we float through the ONE of NOW.
If our mate can share our life while taking responsibility for his or her own life, then welcome aboard our life raft. However, if our mate disrupts our life to the extent that we cannot remain in the Flow, then we must send them back to their own raft until they can gain control of their behavior, or until we can heal ourselves enough to control our behavior. This does not mean that we need to divorce them. On the other hand, if we put up with unacceptable behavior for too long, divorce will seem like the only option. Then again, if we are centered enough in the Flow of our SELF that we will not allow them to disrupt our day (for too long), we can temporarily evict them until their behavior improves.
Once our mate has been temporarily evicted from our life raft, we must take a moment to see what our responsibility within the dissonance is. Remember we are the Master of our life. Therefore, every part of our reality is OUR responsibility—no ifs, ands or buts. Hence, once we have righted our own balance in the flow and discovered what our contribution to the conflict is, it is time for an intimate communication with our mate.
This communication is best begun with a sentence about our own choice of behavior and an explanation as to how we have contributed to the problem. When we begin our communication in this manner, our mate will usually follow our example. Remember our marriage is OUR reality that we are creating. Hence, when we talk to our mate it is to discover how we have fallen out of the Flow within the relationship and/or how we have chosen to follow their dissonance rather than our own peace. In having an honest communication with our mate, we will likely find that we have also been dissonant and pushed the blame onto them.
Marriage is a deep commitment which, like the commitment to our SELF, should not be taken lightly. Much like our relationship with our SELF, marriage offers us an opportunity to experience unconditional love in our daily life. An intimate marriage is like a dance, but the one who leads shifts and changes. If we can follow the Flow of this dance, we do not feel the need to lead, nor do we feel as though we must follow.
The deepest intimacy arises when we are like two drops of water within the same sea. Sometimes these drops are far apart and sometimes they are combined into one larger drop, but always they are in the same ocean. When the ocean is turbulent, they are joined in ONE even though they may appear to be far apart, and when the ocean is calm and peaceful, we can easily flow together.
continue Flowing With Your Love Mate
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Multidimensional Counseling
